Charlotte Church - Call My Name

Just Smile...

As part of my research, 
into becoming a better writer, I decided to take on a role-play character, who also happens to be a BDSM Dominant and the opposite sex... 

My first response was "Hell no! I can't do that!" Then I began to wonder,  "Or can I?" 
Especially as I lack the vital, right equipment........


A male brain.
After all, we are wired differently.


Men think, posture, move, speak, look at their surroundings, drive, fuck, feel, rage, respond to and see humor, interact and socialize, -particularly with each other...differently to women. Their masculinity is always 'out there' and I don't necessarily mean in a macho way, though for some, there is a lot of that too. I think it's on a subliminal level, more of a "I'm a guy. There are certain expectations."


Women are hens. While they can and do have deep and meaningful relationships with other women. They also emotionalize everything and will talk, cry, cajole, bolster, inspire, advise, relate, commiserate, talk, and talk some more, tell their secrets and yours...and yet still, they are a mystery to the opposite sex.


Yet I was strangely compelled and excited about doing a role-play character, especially as I'd never done anything remotely like it before.  What better way to get inside the heads of the male characters I write, than to 'experience' a male persona first hand. The experience has been rewarding, intriguing, absolutely fascinating and deliciously liberating to say the least...


We are anonymous. From the fans, from each other yet and there is a freedom in that too. None one can judge 'me' for the me they see wears a new skin. It tickles my fancy to be a fictional character and see him develop and grow along with my understanding and appreciation, as time goes on.


Yet I am amazed at how in such a short time, I am beginning to notice subtle 'tells' from the other role players that indicate their REAL LIFE sex, regardless of their characters. Now I find myself consciously stopping before entering dialogue to consider the words and whether or not they 'sound' masculine or feminine. Who knew that male and female have certain words that blatantly belong to only one sex? I didn't. Never even considered it. Yet guys generally as a rule don't go around saying "Yay!" when another male walks into the room, regardless of whatever bond or family connection they may have.


Who knew? Not me. I was absolutely clueless! Something else that I never really thought about was how much work men have to do, not only to get us in the mood for sex,  but to stay in it with us and do most of the actual work. *Laughs* And make no mistake, it IS work! And make sure we've achieved bliss as much as we are going to, all before getting off themselves.
Suddenly puts things into perspective... 


We are one of the luckier groups as our "Fearless Leader" managed to secure the Authors endorsement. She allows us all to use her characters and their profiles for the purpose of role play. Still a challenge. You have to step into the role and 'become' that persona. It takes time and practice to become familiar, can be nerve wracking knowing that you are being critiqued for every 'performance' yet it's so incredibly rewarding too.
It's role playing. Acting. Without a script. With a live audience, working directly from the post before yours to come up with a believable one of your own that makes, or creates a Story Line. It's exciting and challenging, scary wonderful and thrilling and makes you 'think on your feet.'  I find myself delving into the 'files' in my mind of long forgotten experiences. Dusting them off and using snippets to 'flesh out' my character that will take him from a puppet to a 'real boy.' When it works...when the audience is ranting or writhing, laughing in cheer or drowning in sorrow or squirming in unrequited lust, that YOU stirred with mere words... The feeling of achievement is humbling and so fucking FABULOUS that it's almost impossible to stop the grin... 


The awe-inspiring talent of the wonderful writers I work with who have become an extended 'family' that I miss. Especially if forced through circumstance to refrain from 'playing with' for a few days or more. There has been the stretching of my 'writing muscles,' especially helpful when there is a tendency when writing a blog or two, to become self absorbed or myopic. And in my opinion, it would have to be the BEST writing course I could ever hope to have had the privilege of participating in, the improvements to my own writing, dramatic. If I ever get to meet our "Fearless Leader" or the Author...funnily enough, I'm not sure if I could find the words to express how grateful I am for the experience. But I will most certainly give it a try.