I must be,
the living epitome, of the word putzing...
As surely, no one I know, could possibly, engage, in as many inconsequential activities as I do!
I'm left to ponder how it is, that I manage to fill an entire day...
Yet wonder what on earth I actually did with it, when falling into bed some nights...
Jeez Louise! It's a worry, I tell you...
It is true, that my hobbies are ab-so-lute-ly useless.
They provide no monetary reward or gain, -what so ever, notoriety, or anything else worth mentioning!
Regardless of how much I enjoy doing them...
Yet still I persist. Happy and perfectly content, to lose myself completely, when either making a new doll, writing, singing away to myself on the karaoke machine... or generally just putzing about in my sewing room, either on the computer or doing, God only knows what else!
The time continues to march steadily by, until I'm scratching my head, wondering, yet again, where it went to...
It's not about distraction either. As if anything, I focus too much, on whatever it is I'm making or doing, to the point where I give it too much of a priority, when it isn't one at all.
The opposite is true too. As for some sick reason, when I do have a 'deadline' I like to wait till the very last possible minute to stress myself out, trying to complete whatever task it is... Daft! Absolutely fricken balmy!
GAH!! Bloody hate that!
Except, well lately anyway... I've been trying to maintain, some sort of 'semblance of order' since I started really writing as opposed to writing once in a blue moon... or every other year or two...
And lo and behold....
So far so good.
I gave myself a challenge a couple of months back, by writing book reviews.
The blogsite I found, has two distinctly different, book review sites;
Whipped Cream Reviews; -a blogsite dedicated to reviewing erotic romance fiction, whether novels, novellas, short stories, anthologies, etc, etc.
and The Long and the Short of It; -their sister site, that review non erotic romance fiction.
I decided, that if I were to be given, FREE books to read and then review, - that I wanted the GOOD STUFF!
Seriously!... -A great story, with light 'slap and tickle'...
Or a really great story, with enough heat to scorch your fingers, just by turning the pages...
It was a no-brainer.
Talk about fun! And quite the learning curve too!
Trouble is, I've read soooo many erotic romance novels of late, -that I swear...
...I have elves and fairies, were-panthers, werewolves, demons, demigods, dragons, vampires, angels, super humans, aliens, navy seals, hopeful housewives, cowboys, mermaids, mermen, pirates, strange orgasmic sucking plants and creatures, -and all the rest of them, merrily fornicating in my poor head...
They're also, an inventive lot, -all quite happy to 'go at it' with just themselves, each other, in pairs, and more, same sex, or not, menage, multiple-partner, multi-species, and/or every, other, possible and some highly improbable, combinations, thereof...
And if that's not enough... throw in a little, -or a lot, as the case may be, of kink and maybe a Dom or two and his sub or subs, some bondage, whips, chains, belts, ball gags, corsets, exhibitionism, voyeurism, spanking, fisting, anal play, forced seduction, toys and whatever other various fetishes, get your motor running...
...and no doubt, your head will feel as fit to burst as mine does of late!~
ROFLMAO!
You've got to have a sense of humor right!?!
Believe it or not... I've not actually had SEX on the brain so much, since... I dunno, high school?
Or at least, not since the first five years of both my marriages... These days, it's more about quality than quantity, and planning an 'encounter' rather than a spontaneous occurrence. Not complaining, it's always fabulous, it's just that life (and putzing!) sometimes get in the way.
And the point of all this is... the writing of course!
I discovered after doing some www research, that the 'lion's share' of the literary market in the past few years or so, has gone to... TA-DAH!! Erotic Romance Fiction.
These writers are making an ABSOLUTE killing!
*And so they should!! I'm a firm believer, in using whatever talents you're gifted with, and reaping the benefits accordingly!*
Or the publishing houses are...
Where once cowboy novels and westerns were popular, and stories fantastical of witches, boy wizards and vampires etc, etc, raked in the bucks; things literary, have undergone a subtle but dramatic change...
Nowadays, if they don't have a romantic twist and an equally absorbing plot to them, and the characters are NOT having fabulous, mind-numbing, descriptive explicit sex, with **rules of engagement firmly in place... And there is NOT a HEA (happily ever after, to the non-initiated...)to die for, well then... they are simply sadly lacking and barely worth spending, ones hard earned money or time on...
...At least, that's the view, of a growing corner of the market, dedicated to spending a massive chunk of change on... Erotic Romance Fiction.
** For those interested, the "Rules of Engagement" for writing an erotic romance novel, follows and are taken from 'The Author Information Packet' at Ellora's Cave:
The sexual relationship must be integral to and an important element of the storyline and the character development. Sex scenes should contribute to furthering the plot or affecting the development of the romantic relationship or the growth of the characters.
The story must include abundant and explicit sex and sexual tension, starting early and continuing throughout. Sex scenes must be described in graphic detail and explicit wording, not delicate euphemisms or purple prose.
The story must meet the definition of a romance novel: the primary focus must be on the development of a romantic relationship (the core romance drives the narrative), and there must be an emotionally satisfying committed ending for the main characters.
Forgetting of course, that in the 'real world' there are probably only a handful of extraordinary people to every....
Boat full?...
Football field full...?
City or country full?
-Whatever!
.......to us, the numerous ordinary folks, who can actually tell and write a tall tale, without boring the proverbial socks off everyone, who hears or reads it.
I therefore decided, that I very much wanted to "give it a bash."
To "get in on the action" so to speak, and pen a tale, or two, too...(as well, tutu!)
I have since made a re-acquaintance with the dictionary and thesaurus...
And the reason behind the book reviews of erotic novels, begins to come clear...
Not so much for the 'research' into the sexual act, you understand... nooooooo...
After all, I'm a veritable "know-it-all" with nearly f-i-f-t-y y-e-a-r-s experience alive, to draw upon!!
Well... as it turns out, that's a bit of 'wishful thinking'...
Cause when I added up the years on my fingers, I discovered that much to my chagrin, I've only being "doing IT".... for the past thirty years or so...
Still, you'd have thought I'd have tried, whatever there was to try of it by now right!?!...
Good Grief!...And to think...
... I actually had the audacity, the presumption to think, I already knew all there was to know about sex...
OMG!!! Was I ever in for an education!!!
I've since come to the conclusion (here I go again!) that I'm sadly quite clueless... LOL! Or was...(and again!!)
I thought I was reading and researching erotic romances, to learn; 'how to describe an erotic scene' -without resorting to a dictionary for explanation or waiting for the paint to dry....
Or how about; using a shockingly forbidden word, in a way meant to empower a woman, -when it comes to her feminine genitalia for example, -rather than, the viscous and derogatory use, I'd previously always associated said word with...
And those are just two examples that are actually quite difficult to emulate...
Ohhhhh... but it's such fun trying! And I haven't had this much fun, being so thoroughly naughty... in years!!
So wish me luck, and if you're over eighteen, check out my humble attempts so far...
If you're not, SCRAM!
The address is on my profile, just click My Web Page under Contact...
Pearl, ~ erotic romance extraordinaire wannbe! :) Hah!
